Brainy: Jokey Smurf, why don't you listen to the voice of reason for a change?
Jokey: Shhh, be quiet, Brainy, I'm trying to listen to the voice of reason.

Tapper: Excuse me, is this seat saved?
Jokey: No, but I bet you've been praying for it.

Greedy (after a spaghetti dinner): Does my breath smurf of garlic?
Jokey: No, my face always smurfs green around this time of day.

Chatty: Does my talking bother you?
Jokey: Not as much as the fact that you're still smurfing it means that you're alive.

Smurf: Hey, Jokey, are you smurfing a bath?
Jokey: No, I'm going to leave it right where I found it.

Hefty: I'm going to smurf a few words with you about your "surprises"!
Jokey: Yeah, I know how you talk: punch first, smurf questions later.

Hefty: How would you like to smurf a knuckle sandwich?
Jokey: With lots of bread and some mustard on it.

Smurfette: Oh, Jokey, smurf something sweet to me.
Jokey: Smurfberry pie.

Fisher: You wouldn't guess how big the fish actually was.
Jokey: Do you still have room for it along with your other invisible fish trophies?

Tapper: You should smurf a prayer before you eat.
Jokey: What for? Greedy's always a good cook!

Dabbler: Aha! I've finally figured out what Grouchy's blood type actually is!
Jokey: Uh...B-negative?

Brainy: It seems that everything I say to you smurfs in one ear and smurfs out the other.
Jokey: Well, I guess that's why I've got two ears.

Brainy: Can any of you visualize what I'm trying to say here?
Jokey: I'm already visualizing the tape over your mouth.

Amore: I'm waiting for Smurfette to smurf me a sign.
Jokey: She's already given you one, loverboy! It reads STOP!

Smurf: Something smells funny around here.
Jokey: It must be the clown farts. I always smurf those.

Smurf: Hey, Jokey, is that your new hat?
Jokey: No, my old hat always smurfs like this whenever I think about Smurfette.

Brainy: The next topic for my speech will be about space.
Jokey: Good, then I'm sure your fellow Smurfs will smurf plenty of room for you to discuss it.

Handy: My new furnace works! All I needed was the right amount of coke.
Jokey: I guess things smurf better with coke.

Brainy: You must be out of your mind.
Jokey: As long as I'm out of yours, I'm happy.

Vanity: Doesn't my skin smurf off such a glow?
Jokey: I don't know whether to call it radiant or radioactive.

Greedy: Are you going to eat that, Jokey?
Jokey: Actually, I'm saving it for one of Papa Smurf's experiments.

Brainy: I don't know why more people don't listen to me.
Jokey: You must be suffering from Clue Deficit Disorder.

Brainy: Isn't it amazing how Empath is able to read minds?
Jokey: I'm not sure how he is able to read yours, given that the print is so small.

Smurflings: Yay! School's out!
Jokey: You know what they smurf...nothing succeeds like recess!

Brainy: I have something important I need to smurf with you.
Jokey: I'm rather busy. Can I ignore you some other time?

Brainy: I have just changed my mind.
Jokey: Wow, what a miracle! I hope it smurfs better than your old one.

Brainy: I hope my little speech has smurfed you something to think about.
Jokey: It sure did. All throughout, I was thinking, "When is it going to end?"

Brainy: Am I really that boring?
Jokey: Of course not! Everybody closes their eyes and snores whenever they find what you have to say interesting.

Clumsy: Every Smurf says that I dance like I have two left feet.
Jokey: That's not true, Clumsy. You always had two right feet.

Harmony: I truly have a gift for singing.
Jokey: How about I give you one for stopping?

Hefty: Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.
Jokey: I'd rather fight fire with water.

Brainy: Okay, everybody, it's time for "Sing Along With Brainy".
Jokey: "If I had a hammer..."

Brainy: You know, a thought just crossed my mind the other day.
Jokey: It must have been a long and lonely journey.

Brainy: You're trying to make a monkey out of me!
Jokey: Don't smurf at me! I can't take all the credit for it!

Brainy: Just to let you know, I'm nobody's fool.
Jokey: Okay, let's see if somebody will adopt you.

Brainy: I happen to have the perfect solution to everybody's problem.
Jokey: If it's for insomnia, please feel free to use it.

Brainy: I can't believe it! I make a bunch of suggestions and nobody's carrying them out!
Jokey: That's where you're wrong! See what Sloppy is doing over there?

Smurf: Dimwitty is a terrible cook! He used roses in the salad and now every Smurf is sick from eating it!
Jokey: I had a feeling that everything would be coming up roses.

Brainy: You think I'm a complete idiot, don't you?
Jokey: Not really. I'd say you're working hard enough to be a complete idiot.

Brainy: Just remember that I'm in charge here when Papa Smurf is away.
Jokey: Then you should join the military. You're already a major pain in the smurf.

Sneaky: I want to get under Smurfette's hat.
Jokey: You're already getting under her skin.

Nudie: But every Smurf wants to see more of me.
Jokey: There really isn't any more of you to see.

Amore: Smurfette must have magic powers.
Jokey: It's too bad she can't make you disappear.

Hefty: Nothing smurfs me into good shape like a couple of big dumbbells.
Jokey: Unless they happen to be Clumsy and Dimwitty.

Sneaky: I want to see Smurfette slip into something a bit more comfortable, like nothing.
Jokey: She'd want to see you slip into something a bit more comfortable, like a permanent sleep.

Brainy: I can never be lost because I have a good sense of direction.
Jokey: You can never be lost because every Smurf tells you where to go.

Brainy: You can never guess what my IQ is.
Jokey: I'm smurfing that there's a minus sign attached to a very big number.

Gargamel: A SMURF!!!
Jokey: Gesundheit.

Greedy: Let's see...what do I want to take with onion, a scallion, a leek...
Jokey: Oh, go take a leek.

Papa Smurf: Do you think I really need a haircut?
Jokey: I'll go see if I can borrow Handy's lawnsmurfer.

Brainy: You're not going to call me a stupid idiot again, are you?
Jokey: Why, have you graduated to being an intelligent idiot?